Its really easy.....

I altered my future plans today, by the time i will be 50 i want to join Indian politics, so that i can enjoy my career till my death no matter if i die at 105.There are not many requirements you need to fulfill to become a politician in India, and i can successfully meet most of them by my 50th year. But i should not take it so lightly, so i decided to make a to do list.
1. I should make lots of money, by hook or crook, because money plays a big role. In future i will have to provide huge funds to the party i will be in, to get an election ticket, and i will need some really strong goondas(party workers) for some booth capturing, hooliganism,make arrangements for them so that they can do riots peacefully.i will have to bribe officers in public services to show my wealth as less as possible, and yes at last but not the least i will provide free 40'inch LCD HDTV to all who will vote for me( i stole this idea from a southern politician, he won by the way).
2. This one will be really difficult for me, because my orkut and facebook profile says i am agnostic, and religion plays an efficient role in the politics. So i will have to embrace a religion or pseudo secularism,but it is not that easy, no worries i have a solution, i will gather few rallies and shout against one particular religion so that i will get an FIR against me and in court i will say ''I am the only one who will provide justice to this particular religion''.And if i become a pseudo secularist i will have to do pseudo fasting outside the pro religion leader.
3.Now the point comes to issues, agendas and vision, i will have to be really careful about this one because not to forget i am educated, so i will have to project and present myself as thinking mind, I will have to concentrate that my speech and my actions should not be the same.I will show to the world that my goal is to provide education, houses, health care to the people but i will provide 40' inch LCD TV.
4. According to me this is the most important, my dressing sense, I will wear only cotton saari nicely pinned up, to show i am a respected Indian woman and i am with common man, but i will definitely wear western dresses(dolce and gabbana is my favorite by the way) while i will take an expensive vacation on taxpayers money in Italy. I am thankful to Indian media that they have not turned into paparazzi yet, so no exigency of being photographed.
There are many small points too like try to give a little bit like Rs 500 donation to an old age home, take a chopper to far far village, visit slums ( just visit not to touch its dirty you seeee), try to get some footage with bollywood stars if possible hang around with them as much as possible, crack jokes in media in a specific dialect.
After all these points there is only one thing which i cannot suffice is "regionalism", i do not belong to any particular state of India as my forefathers were from delhi and delhi is famous for its alloyed population, I may loose on this front but I think I have an answer for this too, I am the most expedient person for the post of prime minister.
Its easy really.