Final analysis

I was astound by the question asked by my coworker " so really they destroy the eyes of poor kids in India" and my 2009 started with questions like these, thanks to slumdog millionaire. The movie won the Oscars, and i was bombarded with some more questions like why rich Indian people doesn't help these poor kids and again i had no answer.
The year 2009 was indeed the most happening year of the decade so many things happened that almost everybody says this year was really short. News which i think was most amazing was when Barack Obama took oath as president of United States of America, he became president not because he is black but because he is an intelligent and strong leader.When i watched people crying with joy was definitely the moment of the year.
Elections happened in India as well, once again we got stuck with the same coalition government with lots of old leaders and their relatives. we are worlds largest democracy, but is quantity better than the quality? By year end, we have more issues than ever, climate change, rising food prices, lawlessness and not to forget the nation which wants to divide like never before. I personally think that when we have a bigger population it is always better to have a good number of multiple systems or provinces. But unfortunately in India the divisions are to achieve the political gain not for people's welfare.
But not all the things were bad, decriminalization of same sex relations and easier adoption laws made the supreme and high courts again a winner just like last year when RTI was worth to talk about.I became a fan of 'pink chaddi campaign', showing that please do not decide everything for women we do possess our brains. Nandan Nilekani, who wrote 'world is flat' will be doing the biggest task of the century by issuing the unique identity cards to all Indians that is 1.2 billion people.And certainly not to forget AR Rahman, when he won two academy awards same night.
The year was so full of events, MJ is gone forever, so is the clean image of Tiger Woods, media became more sensational news pro by showing stories like balloon boy , back home i am sure prime time stories on celebrities and Rakhi sawant.White house had party crashers, Canadian prime minister appeared on indian dance show!!!
I want to wish everyone a very happy new year, and lets try to make this world better in 2010. By the way my funniest story of this year is surely of Mr N D Tiwari, i think viagra finally got the right brand ambassador.

A new start......

I thought i will start writing from January 2010 again, but its hard, to keep your pen down once you start enjoying it. There were many incidences which almost made me to break my so called pledge but this one particular episode did it successfully.
Time to time politicians in various states of India try to play language and religion card, not to forget caste as well, anyways if i really have to give some kind of award to the most efficient leader of all the times who can produce this deadly venom continuously, year after year,in various forms then there is one clear winner Bal Thakery and Co.
But being a typical Gemini i could not stop imagining just here,So Bal Thakeray and co has a facebook page, other leader would react, what they will say and write to this precious family, the end result of my imagination looks like this,

Bal Thakeray's wall; yaay,,, finally... :)

comments:
FATHER OF NATION, GANDHI( the bald, size zero man): Dear Bal, beta as the father of nation i have to overlook your sins, and give you the right advice, which i think i did not, somehow i failed again, now people will say Gandhi was responsible, why marathi people are treated bad in this country.But whatever you wanted you achieved so i am happy for you, you sacrificed two other family members too ( Raj and Udhav).Just take one advice from me son, stop now, enough, open your eyes and spread love not hatred.

Bal Thakeray: @ gandhi, bapu you could not win noble prize, i can understand but do not show off now, you are dead they do not award noble prize to the deceased.

Mayawati: mananiye bal thakeray, good job, your goons always beat poor UPiats, and biharis, wait till next year this award will be mine.

Bal Thakeray: @ mayawati bahenji, you can never achieve this, you have to have sons and nephews like Raj and Udhav. Jai maharashtra.

Sardar patel (the iron man): I cannot believe i tried so hard to bring all the states to make united India, Bal, don't play this dirty game, you are getting old now, Nehru and i are waiting up there for you with our hockey sticks.Even Tagore is saying what the heck.

Bal Thakeray: @patel dude you guys are in heaven for gods sakes i will be joining hands with Hitlers and Mussolinis in hell.V peace.

Hu Jintao: Ni hao? Mr thakeray good job, we Chinese want this. keep the good work going.

Bal Thakeray: hey Hu, go anywhere but do not come to mumbai, its mine,thanks though.

Parvez Mushrraff: congratulations Mr thakeray, for this achievement people of Pakistan congratulates you, keep it up, we always looks forward to your next step, let me know if you want to outsource the work, we have highly specialized professionals in this field.

Bal Thakeray: Mushrraff nobody needs your help, we have enough man power here.

Barack Obama: Jackass
Barack Obama: oh sorry Mr. Thakeray, i thought its Kanye's wall. so congratulations i certainly dont know how to play this language card you see we have only one language in USA , but i agree with Gandhi, please stop. This doesn't look good, India is doing well, unite, do not break.

Bal Thakeray: Mr obama, please mind your own business.

Raj Thakeray: How could you get this award, my men go and beat men and women, now a days, not yours, i deserve this not you. i detest this award.

Bal Thakeray: Raj how many times i told you do not discuss family matters in front of public, you fool. And for this award you have to give your whole life.

Ankita sharma: Sir, I an starting a new campaign against Hindi, it should not be our national language because India has 29 different languages, and no other language is inferior than the other. I want you to join our campaign, i want sign language to be the national language of India, sir it has many advantages, nobody will be left out of any conversation, no loud talks, no divisions, peaceful. What do you think sir?

Bal Thakeray: I think you are biggest fool of all, you did not get the point yet, idiot girl, its not about the language and culture and religion and caste its all about "power", we do not want peace we want those mindless fellows who can fight for us while we can enjoy the coziness of our houses watching bollywood dancing in front of us.

Mamta benerjee: I got it. congratulations anyways.

Indian Idols

I am riding high on my political aspirations, i was so busy following elections that i totally forgot to write my blogs, and i spent all my days dreaming about my own party after Chiru(Chiranjeevi) won so impeccably in Andhra pradesh, this was his party's first elections and he managed to get decent seats, and on the top of it his party did not have any different issues, same age old agendas like education, infrastructure, special identity for the state and lots of other boring stuff, so i thought when he can do it so do i.
On the other hand, i was also whining about the victorious UPA, that this is absolutely wrong trend, one party cannot win now, come on!! how could it happen. And Chiru is a superstar so he had fan following so he won, but just imagine if i will run for elections when i will be fifty, nobody will not even look at me. So, i decided i will join one of the major parties, and if the other will win i will change, look at Mamta dee she was railway minister with NDA government and now again she got the berth in cabinet, so no matter who will you vote for, you will get the nearly same things.
My heart really went for Lal Krishna Advani, as i saw his interview, i thought look at his luck, he has been bullied by his own party members, and i can personally understand his feelings as he and i dream of same thing 'becoming the prime minister of india' one day.But sorry Advani ji your days are over now, and i will not repeat your mistakes.
one more thing worried me a lot, how come India is losing it major vote churning machine "religion" but after i read how clashes in Austria caused the riots like situation in Punjab and haryana, i was overwhelmed and beaming with confidence, and once more i was assured when i read Danny Boyle came to mumbai to provide homes to slumdog kids, while we Indians were raising money in Gujrat for a temple, and we raised a whooping amount of Rs 5 crores in merely 7 hours. these news bring joy to me and make me believe in my country. we will be busy in temples, gurudwaras, and mosques while foreigners will be helping our kids.
But even if i want i can not meet all requirements, i was happy to know about so called young brigade, but the truth is out of 15 young MPs only 3 were not kith and kins of any known politician, and for a minute i was so mad on my dad, its all his mistake, if he would have taken any part in college politics today the things would be really different for me.
But in the end i know there is no word like "the end" in indian politics, take example of Vilas Rao Deshmukh, he was fired from CM's position post mumbai attack and he again got a nice berth in cabinet. Certainly all these things gives me immense hope, and force me to keep on learning these new tactics of indian politics, one day surely i will outcast all of them.

not for sale!!!!

Those were certainly the most beautiful eyes i have ever seen, deep green and restless just like ocean, but i felt very uncomfortable the way they were looking at me. I took out my gloves and left the room, went to my office and wrote the final report, there were no signs of assault but multiple fractures were present. I saw her again after few days when she came for her treatment, this time her eyes were looking more greener but painful.
I tried to read but failed, tried not to think about it but could not stop, that was just yesterday when i was seven, flying all over the village, digging up worms, stealing food from the big marriage parties in village. Everybody was excited in village, when it was announced by government babu that white people will be coming to our village to shoot a movie. Things changed, whole village looked like a diwali fate, my father had small tea shop, he got a big order 100 cups tea everyday.i remember how badly my father beat my brother because he was not able to carry that big jug, i came forward shivering and asked can i help him, he nodded and left.
I saw white people for the first time in my life, and felt so inferior, and thought it will be so easy for these girls to get married and their father would not have to give so much dowry, as my grandmother always says to my father to collect more money for dowry because i am dark skinned. He called me, the white man with hat, asked me something i could not understand, but bhanu chacha understood, he knew little english as he was the only matric pass from our village. My father came and hold me tight he was very excited, i became excited to see him happy. I bagged a small role in the movie, and i had to play myself.
After a year, some people with big camera and mics came again they wanted to know how i was doing, i said i am good. My father talked to them and came to know that i may be going to some award function overseas, i know he got money for that.
I got so many good clothes, shoes and i arrived in a big city, everybody knew me, i was never so much aware of my existence before. Everything was just like that fairytale which my mother used to tell to my brother and me, but fairytales have happy endings.
I was asleep when my father came to me, it was past midnight, i think he could not stop himself, and took me in his lap, and asked me that question which changed my life forever, do you want go overseas again, it blew my sleep away, i got so elated and told him yes i will. I was dressed in the light pink frock, i liked my dress so much that i wanted to look at myself in the mirror for some more time, but my father came and said lets go big car is here.
I was nine now, and married. Life did not have any meaning for me, i was not allowed to go outside, not allowed to show my face to anybody, nobody came to see me except him, my husband. Years went by, i was just confined to this room, one day my window was not locked i looked outside it was all alone, and very dark, i do not know why but i jumped out, i started walking and then running, did not look back, ran as fast as i could.
It happened one day, police came to our bar, and closed it.After my escape, i begin to beg for some days but unfortunately got involved in a gang, there i met this young girl who was with the gang leader all the time, she took me to this place called new heaven dance bar, i became a bar dancer.
I was 17 now, and in jail, got sentenced for 12 years for a homicide, but it was for self defense.I met her there, she was a confident police officer, whenever she used to come every woman better behave, one day she summoned me, she asked me if i want to work as a maid in her house, i nodded. I began to work in house for eight hours daily, one day she came to me, and asked can i read, i remember going to school with me brother but i cannot read, but i can write my name. With her reference i was registered in an adult education program.
I still remember my first day, in medical college, how other students were looking at me, and wondering how can i enter in this prestigious delhi university college, and that was true i was 25, then. I was still working in one cell phone shop, and struggled to study, and pay my fee at time, sometimes i was not allowed to give exams because of this.After 15 years now, i am still in this medical college but as a forensic expert.
I suddenly woke up by the loud noises, i came out, everybody became silent except her, she came and hugged me, begged me to do something, she was rescued from a flesh trade racket. I told her to go with the police, nurse took her and she again looked at me with those big eyes and then turned.
Today, i am a proud mother of a young and confident girl, who is a scientist at ISRO, and will be going to NASA next week for a big conference. Those eyes are still the most beautiful for me except there is no pain in them now.
( this story is a pure fiction, but one news about a child actor gave me the inspiration.And surely no child in this world should be available for sale.)

different ways of protesting

I slammed the door on one of my professor's face and walked out when i thought i was right and he was wrong, well after that i had to face a lot.I learnt my lesson that day "protest but in a right way". There can be different ways of protesting like fasting, demonstrations,working with a black band on arm, not working at all etc.
But something happened last year which caught worlds attention, a shoe was thrown on respected(worldwide) president George W. Bush. And this unique way of protesting was discovered by an Iraqi journalist now that is a different story that he is still in jail but i guess all the great discoverers were treated like this and after sometime the world usually adopt the new ways. Anyhow this time one nation did not waste any time to take this method of protesting seriously, and started practicing this at every possible occasion.
No prizes for guessing yes it is our India, where one skinny bespectacled bald man developed other out of fashion ways of protesting like non cooperation with peace and peaceful talks , but as we all know we indians have a fetish for anything imported no matter from where it comes, as long as its not ours its great!!
So the new way of protesting is to get up, take out your shoe and just throw on that devil who is talking rubbish. Even the results are great suddenly you will be in news , people will be desperate to know you, and will be wondering how can you do this to our capable ministers , are you not scared that they belong to a bunch of goons. If your are affected by this recession this can be an ideal profession, do it once and twice and thrice after a while you can be just perfect in it and political parties can hire you and if you feel the overexposed, just simple , you can open your own shoe throwing institute pvt ltd. and teach others how to perfect this unique art.
everyday the list is getting longer, it all started with super cute Bush and L. K. Adwani, J. D. Tytler, Narinder Modi have already experienced it, And the latest victim is our PM.
But change is the thing which will never change so even this way of protest will change . My extraordinary mind is already trying to find out what would be the next "in" method, it can be anything, something cute like throwing paperplanes or something disgusting like urinating in front of everybody, something adventures like doing some kung-fu stunts, or something funny like dancing on bollywood item number.
After making fun of everything as i always do, i thought whatever it is, at least we are free to protest in our country and that is the greatest power.

Things has to be chaotic, in a nation has 23 official languages, 1065 dialects, 774 million voters, 1055 political parties, nearly 6000 candidates(95% of them are men),few million electronic voting machines, i did not realize it till i begin to explain the month long election affair to my Canadian counterpart. Once i was done with my Indian political system lecture she was looking at me as i just delivered an alien. And i thought they can never understand because when India votes one sixth of mankind votes.
I like politics and when Canada voted i wanted to know their parliament system, but to my surprise there were issues like homeless cats and dogs shelters etc. There was no coverage of elections in leading newspaper all they cared for US elections.Elections started and government was formed, Stephen Harper became prime minister again, but nobody knows, except people like me.
Though picture in India is different there is a whole lot of people going for leadership this time gurus, civil servants, Harward graduates, computer experts, illiterates, goons, bollywood, kollywood, tollywood, criketers. According to exit polls this time its gauranteed no single party can make government, congress can get approx. 140 and BJP may be 130, that means trading happens in New Delhi too, and it will begin in may. But this is not the first time in india for a coalition government, since 1984, there has not been a single party government, that means if you have 10 poeple and a dialect or religion you can give birth to a political party.
The concept of democracy is very tough to understand, US, Canada, EU , Australia are old democracies and when people in Afganistan votes people get misty eyes here as they can see people in different world are getting rights, but as Paul Colleir (renowned oxford professor) writes, democracy is successful untill people know about their rights and educated enough about the candidates. This is so true look at South Africa, Mr Jacob is only educated till 5th grade and he is leading the government and country's condition is detoriating or look at African nations like Kenya, even stable south asian countries like Sri Lanka or Thailand.
It takes several leaders to make the nation but to destroy one is enough, vote wisely.

There is special season when i get fully charged and active and i am feeling exactly the same way right now when we have elections coming up and i am glued to my Indian news channels throughout the weekend.But i am quite disappointed this time, it gives me a sense of deja vu, as if all the major channels have a set of experts and they visit these channels one by one. Its not that i dont enjoy them watching but as a big nations we should have more variety.
My restless soul found a meaningful refuge in newspapers, and the first article i read was by Rohini Deshpane and Abhijit Banerjee on the future of Indian politics, and made me think so really this time caste will play a big role. I am a big fan of Ramachandra guhas writing, but you always have to read twice as its difficult to draw the abstract at first, i have to say a well written article about the comparison of late 19 century America and present day India. I really hope we follow the American history and become more matured democracy.
If i have to sum up this week it will be something like this,weeks biggest catfight , definitely, Menka and bahen Mayawati. I laughed for a good 15 mins. as i read, both the mothers ( not to forget maya is not biological mother but claims she is, to the crores of Indians) are fighting over Varun bhaiyas jail visit.
Big achievement of the week, for sure, honourable supreme court for barring Sanju baba from fighting elections and big disappointment to CBI(who else) for giving clean chit to J Tytler.
biggest laughing stock of the week Mamta di for announcing she will not drive nano ( i am so thankful to her).
I have this guilt, i will not be able to vote this time, as i am so far away but i really wish this time India writes the history, able to make a stable and successful government.

Bitiya

I spent all my life in this city of dreams, New York, since my childhood i saw people are running, where? i do not know, but most of them are running including my own parents, and those who are not, this city welcomes them too. But i was not born here, i was born far east in India, and my parents are from a small village in Haryana, which my father can never forget, he says he enjoyed the real freedom where he belongs to an affluent and powerful "jat" family, but my mom is more than happy here, as she says there in village she would have been outcasted by now, as i am the only child and a girl.
I was always good in studies and wanted to become an engineer, i wanted to design cars and as a child whenever i used to tell this to my grandmother, who is in India, Haryana right now, used to laugh and say, oh my little girl you will get married one day to a robust "jat", who will have acres of land, i used to blush. The day i came out of Columbia as an graduate engineer, i thought what a lethal combination of a mechanical engineer and robust "jat" with acres of land.
I took my first job as an entry level engineer in R&D department in a prestigious automobile company , and after 3 years of experience i got an offer to work on a project in India, Hrayana. I came home and announced to the family and my dad was full of pride as he could see his son in me, and my mom was happy because she could finally call her sisters in Haryana to look for a suitable alliance for me, after all i am 27, too ready to get married.
I was mesmerized by the idea of going to a place where i was born but never seen, never felt, some says its poor, some says its rich, vibrant economy some says wow finally you can learn some yoga and meditation, and my mind was stuffed with all this, but all i knew that this trip is going to be unique for me.

Life was same for me even in India, factory to home and home to factory, after working for a month i finally decided to travel, and give a visit to my relatives, did both. Diwali came and factory was closed so i thought why not spend holidays with grandma, uncle and aunt who are doctors and have their own maternity home.I loved my first Diwali in India, but wondered if have gone deaf and fat, all those crackers and sweets.
My sleep broke with the loud banging on my door, i opened the door, police , media and lots of people.I was in the state of shock, they all were asking me questions, whether i knew about all the dead fetuses found in the well behind maternity home.I saw police took my uncle and aunt, and grandma , me and my 10 year old cousin were left behind. Next day a huge crowd from some political group came and broke almost everything, all happened in front of media. My grandma packed all essential stuff and we left for our ancestral village.
After few days uncle and aunt got bail, but i was still numb, when i met them i could not figure out what to do. Village was very peaceful though, i called my company took some days off decided to spend few days here. Our neighbors were very calm, i always saw five men leaving home every morning and a woman behind the doors with one little boy. My cousin and him became good friends, they showed me how to play cricket, i asked so what does your father do, he asked me back which one?
There were many families all over the district with one wife and few husbands, and surprisingly none of the ladies knew the language, all belong to the southern states of India. There were so many villages where females were negligible or way less than the men.There were many reasons for it, according to the tradition only a male heir can bring forward the family name, having a number of boys in families can show power, family businesses were safer with boys and last but not the least these villages saw heinous crimes against females during partition and now i understand why my grandmother always associates women as less powerful.
I got transferred to Detroit. Coming back was tough, after what i saw there, was way beyond words, i started to read more and more about female feoticide like geographical locations, methods and techniques. Sometimes i felt so sick after reading how just after delivery father or other family members throw the baby in well, or bury her or closes mouth and nose together.The things were not limited to India, it was all over Asia from China to Pakistan.Even people who immigrated to western countries practices this, and i wondered why some of my relatives got pregnant here and miscarried in India.
I started to write down blogs on this issue, did not get surprised at all, when i saw another girl from Hongkong has posted her comments stating she always wanted to do something on this.Some of my supportive friends came forward and we opened an NGO in delhi, with little money and lots of support, we named it BITIYA.Now we work for nine months in office and three months on streets. There is something in these big democratic nations, courageous people are in abundance, we wanted few but crowd is with us. Students from universities and schools are really supportive, they help in whatever way they can, last month we had a bollywood dance competition in jalandhar to raise money.
Last year we saw a drop in female feoticide by 4%, and the sex ratio under 2 year olds is significantly improved.Educated young people understands this thing that both men and women are important for a happy family, good community, perfect society and successful nation. But i felt the sense of true achievement when my father saw a daughter in me, and accepted proudly.

( This story is a pure fiction and does not bear any resemblance to living or dead.)

Its really easy.....

I altered my future plans today, by the time i will be 50 i want to join Indian politics, so that i can enjoy my career till my death no matter if i die at 105.There are not many requirements you need to fulfill to become a politician in India, and i can successfully meet most of them by my 50th year. But i should not take it so lightly, so i decided to make a to do list.
1. I should make lots of money, by hook or crook, because money plays a big role. In future i will have to provide huge funds to the party i will be in, to get an election ticket, and i will need some really strong goondas(party workers) for some booth capturing, hooliganism,make arrangements for them so that they can do riots peacefully.i will have to bribe officers in public services to show my wealth as less as possible, and yes at last but not the least i will provide free 40'inch LCD HDTV to all who will vote for me( i stole this idea from a southern politician, he won by the way).
2. This one will be really difficult for me, because my orkut and facebook profile says i am agnostic, and religion plays an efficient role in the politics. So i will have to embrace a religion or pseudo secularism,but it is not that easy, no worries i have a solution, i will gather few rallies and shout against one particular religion so that i will get an FIR against me and in court i will say ''I am the only one who will provide justice to this particular religion''.And if i become a pseudo secularist i will have to do pseudo fasting outside the pro religion leader.
3.Now the point comes to issues, agendas and vision, i will have to be really careful about this one because not to forget i am educated, so i will have to project and present myself as thinking mind, I will have to concentrate that my speech and my actions should not be the same.I will show to the world that my goal is to provide education, houses, health care to the people but i will provide 40' inch LCD TV.
4. According to me this is the most important, my dressing sense, I will wear only cotton saari nicely pinned up, to show i am a respected Indian woman and i am with common man, but i will definitely wear western dresses(dolce and gabbana is my favorite by the way) while i will take an expensive vacation on taxpayers money in Italy. I am thankful to Indian media that they have not turned into paparazzi yet, so no exigency of being photographed.
There are many small points too like try to give a little bit like Rs 500 donation to an old age home, take a chopper to far far village, visit slums ( just visit not to touch its dirty you seeee), try to get some footage with bollywood stars if possible hang around with them as much as possible, crack jokes in media in a specific dialect.
After all these points there is only one thing which i cannot suffice is "regionalism", i do not belong to any particular state of India as my forefathers were from delhi and delhi is famous for its alloyed population, I may loose on this front but I think I have an answer for this too, I am the most expedient person for the post of prime minister.
Its easy really.

one billion and democracy

Suddenly i felt like chill went through my spine, my mind stopped working, also sensed quite an episode of hot flashes, no no i am not in my menopausal stage of life. It all happened with one news of Times of India that behan Mayawati ji can become our prime minister if absolutely zero ideological third front win. So, after i got my senses back i decided to check news channels just to confirm my horror, which was unfortuanately true, and Mr BSP spokesperson was a lot more than hopeful, as if this is the only emulation in the world.
This is not the first time that we are looking forward to coalition governments, but just for a good change cant we have biparty or may be three party system in India. I could not stop laughing when i read that so respected Bhajan Lal is also ready with his brand new party, so we have one more regional party. As a curious person i just wanted to check how many smaller parties we have so i logged on to website of elction comission of India, but no luck, so as citizens, we dont have any data available.
Voting dates are not far, but we dont know that who is going to be the primeminister, what will be his or her agenda, all we care is for which region or caste he or she will present, we dont care what he or she will be able to deliver during this difficult time of economic turmoil, but we undubitably look for the construction of temple or mosque.
As a nation which claims to be the largest democracy of the world we should have the right to know that if we vote, for whom and what are the main issues for the country right now.One billion is not just a number these are lives and the team which claims that they can lead one billion should be very much open about the plans and vision. Again the question remains open in my mind, "does the coalition governments define the true meaning of democracy of one billion".