This is Howie do it!!!!!!!!!

Sharmaji woke up in the middle of night, sweating like pig, glanced at his HMT watch, it was 1am, poor Sharmaji's heart was running faster than shadabdi express beacuse he forgot a very important deadline. Well Sharmaji is a decent ,educated and amiable man who works as a regular babu at PMO in New Delhi, he was given this task of arranging a secret committee which decides  the deserving candidates for national awards this year, but Sharmaji was always busy with other things like ummmm which cannot be discussed here and its not the point as well, so, his coulleague and dear friend Gupta ji said "arre sharma ji dont worry ho jaayega" so Sharmaji thought ho jaayega and forgot. Just like any other work  is done "at the end" or  "at the moment" in India, the selection of awardees are no exception.
But it was too late the awards were just a week away, Sharmaji called Guptaji,
Sharmaji: Guptaji what to do?
Guptaji: doooont worry Sharmaji ho jaayega!!!!!
Next day in the office, Guptaji and Shorat da arrived with a stamped paper that was about the suspension of Sharmaji, if the list of the national award winner is not decided by this evening. Sharmaji was disappointed and started to think, how to spend the six months of suspension (gov. officers cannot be fired in India unless they do something really serious offence and not preparing the awardee list is not a felony , by the way, Sharma ji is also in the union).Anyways after chai and samosa session Gupta ji announced that he would be back by afternoon with the "secret" selection commitee.
Gupta ji introduced three members of selection commitee, SARINA the hot girl from Miranda House, Chaubeyji from MTNL office , and his drunk peon PyaareLal aka kaalu.Sharmaji looked at Guptaji and said, what is this Gupta ji what they know about national awards? Gupta ji said,look Sharmaji we have only 3 hours only to prevent your suspension and this is supposed to be a "secret" commitee, nobody will ever know..
And the meeting starts;
Sharmaji: Beta, you go to Miranda, tell me whom to award Padmashree in arts and cinema.
Sarina: Ranbir Kapoor puleeeese uncle he is soooo cute.
Pyare: Madamji he is very new.
Chaubeyji: yes he is very new,  hmmm what about Preeti jinta.
Sarina: yuck she is old now,,,, ok Salman Khan he is dashing oooohhhh
Pyare: Madamji Salman Khan has two active cases on him, and Chaubey saab, bibiji will be so mad on you if she will come to know about any jinta.I suggest Paress rawal.He is good actor, serious types and phunny types both.
Sarina: ya really??? who wants your advice, you illiterate. oookkkkkk what about Saifuuuuu, he is cutie... and handsome and looks like a prince.
Chaubeyji: dekhiye, you people decide i will be back, waise,,, what about Rani Mukherjee??? Chodo.... madam will get upset hehehehe my madam... @ home.
Sarina: hmmm then done!!! Saifuuuu is getting padmashree... wow have to tweet about this.
Pyare: but he has also one case on him, he killed that kala hiran (blackbuck) and he has delivered just a few hits and Madam ji,,,,,, he left his wife and kids for hij mistresses!!!!!!!!. Characterless.
Sarina: haan as if your character is very clean, look at you man, you are drunk and filthy,,,and why dont you use a deo. smells soooo baad,,, (screams) Gupta uncle if Saifu will not get this award i am leaving right now.. and my mom knows Sharmila aunty and she is very close to  the ministery,,,, i hope you want to work in PMO untill your retirement.
Guptaji: arre kaalu,you mad man, what did i tell you,, just sit there dont open your mouth , let madam handle the Arts award, her papa is MP.And where is Chaubey?
Chaubeyji: hehehehe i went out, cannot survive without the puffs, anyways if all art and craft is over, i propose the name of Mr Chatwal for Padmabhushan.
Sarina: ohhh he is dad of Vikram naaaaaa!!! i met him when he was a bachelor.... why all of you looking at me, we were just good friends. (sigh)Generation gap.
Pyare: sirji, he went to jail in 1997, did some fraud.... bank wala... dont give him any award, this will bring bad name to the country.
Chaubey:No you dont know anything, you are just a chaprraassi, he worked very hard for the nuclear deal, and my son is going to New york he will be staying with them. i can do atleast this.
Sharmaji: you are wrong Chaubeyji, he was always with Clintons, and the deal was pushed by Bush administeration.
Chaubeyji to Guptaji: i am leaving.
Guptaji to Sharmaji: kya aap bhi.... Chaubey ji do whatever you want to do.....
Sarina: Sharma uncle one day i will get padmabhushan too.
Pyaare: madamji say Bharatratna, its bigger than padmabhushan.and i will get padmashree because i am a peon. 
And that is how Sharmaji got his good night sleep back, and awards were given to the deserving people.Guptaji repeated his dialogue confidently "see Sharmaji ho gaya naaa, doooont worry these awaards shawaards are only for namesake".
This year,it was a different award season,people like Vir Sanghavi and Pritish Nandy, filed RTI application to know how these awards are given, who are the members of these so called secret commitees which believe that Mr Chatwal deserve this award.And blogosphere got all charged up with the dicussion why Saif Ali Khan was awarded padmashree.
(the secret commitee of 2010 was only known to me, now please dont think that you can file RTI application to know how i knew this story).